📝 The Real Test of Love: 4 Ways to Know If Your Relationship Can Go the Distance

We often fall for charm, chemistry, or common interests—but what truly determines whether a relationship lasts?

In our second interview with psychologist Susan Quillian, she outlines four simple yet profound tests every strong relationship must pass. These aren’t theories—they’re hard-earned truths from decades of working with couples.

🧱 The 4 Pillars of Lasting Love

If your relationship holds three out of four of these, you’re in a good place. All four? Even better.

🧩 1. Do You Enjoy the Day-to-Day?

You don’t have to be soulmates over every breakfast—but there should be ease. If you often feel irritated, critical, or disconnected, it’s a sign something deeper may need attention.

Ask yourself: Do I feel seen, safe, and relaxed around this person?

🔁 2. Can You Repair After Conflict?

Arguments happen. What matters is what comes next.

• Do you say sorry?

• Can you meet each other in the middle?

• Does a rupture lead to repair—or resentment?

Susan reminds us: "Rupture and repair is a rhythm in every relationship. Learn to dance it."

🚨 3. Are You There for Each Other in Crisis?

A true partner steps up when life gets hard.

Whether it's grief, job loss, or illness—the question isn’t just, “Are you okay?” It’s “How can I show up for you in a way that truly supports you?”

💡 If one person always disappears when things get tough, the foundation may be fragile.

🎉 4. Do You Celebrate Each Other’s Joys?

Surprisingly, many couples fail here.

• Are they genuinely excited about your wins?

• Do you make space for fun, growth, and gratitude?

• Is joy shared, or met with indifference?

Susan says: "Celebration is just as vital as survival. It's how we honor love’s light."

💡 If You're Missing a Pillar…

One weak area doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed—it means it needs attention. Awareness is step one. Support (through honest conversations, coaching, or therapy) is step two.

The danger is in ignoring the cracks until they become chasms.

❤️ Final Thought

A lasting relationship isn’t built in grand gestures. It’s built in the daily choices to listen, to show up, to repair, and to celebrate.

Love isn’t just about how you begin—it’s about how you continue.

Listen to the two interviews we have with Susan here: https://linktr.ee/thekollectiveinstituteofideas